BROUHAHA::::The FF 7 show!
by Cloti81953
Summary: Hmmm... It's about my being the host of a FF 7 fan show and all these commotions occur.... Enjoy!!!
1. Chapter 1

BROUHAHA  
  
Author's note: The author has an interview with FF 7 fans.. ENJOY!!!!!  
  
Joseph(Author): Hello, everyone. I am the representative for this show today. I am the host and there will be several guests that we will be having during the show... First of all, I would like to introduce to you.. the renowned composer, Nubuo Uematsu!!  
  
[APPLAUDS]  
  
N.U: Thank you, thank you. [shakes hands with the author] Nice to meet you.  
  
Joseph: Ah, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Uematsu.. Now, where do you get all those ideas for the music you compose? I just love your music!! Especially, "Ahead on our way" and all those WONDERFUL SONGS!!!  
  
N.U.: Thank you, I am flattered. Some might call me a genius, but I get them from everywhere. Every sound I hear, everything I listen to is part of my inspiration.  
  
Joseph: Ah... The profound world of you, Mr. Uematsu, no one shall comprehend!!  
  
N.U.: Thank you.  
  
Joseph: Now, our next guest, who has made it possible for FF 7 to have many fans! Mr. Sakaguchi!  
  
Mr. S: Ah! Thank you, thank you. I am very delighted!  
  
[APPLAUD! APPLAUD!]  
  
Joseph: So, Mr. Sakaguchi, you left many fans puzzled because of some ambiguity and mysteriousness of your scenarios and scripts.  
  
Sakaguchi: Well, you see, Japanese and English translations are different. Words in Japanese can be different from English and vice versa. So, first of all, there was some translation problem. Second, humans cannot be perfect, so there are always mistakes expected to be.  
  
Fans: BOO!!! BOO!!!! That's a B.S.! Booooo!!!! BOO!!!  
  
Sakaguchi: Silence!!! [crowds stand up and throw tomatoes, watermelons, bananas, eggs, and wigs]  
  
Fans: BOO!!! GO AWAY!!! BOO!!!  
  
Sakaguchi: -_-; [runs away]  
  
Fans: BOO!!! GET HIM!!!  
  
Joseph: Oy... [stands numb]  
  
Fangirl # 1: Hey, you are the host, right?  
  
Joseph: Yeah, how can I help you?  
  
Fangirl # 1: Say, you are pretty cute, wanna date me?  
  
Joseph: Sure, what's your name?  
  
Fangirl # 1: Priscilla!  
  
Joseph: Ah... You are the dolphin girl!  
  
Priscilla: Yep!  
  
Joseph: Hmm... Ok! Let's go somewhere!  
  
[exits. Avalanche enters]  
  
Barret: Yo, where is everyone?  
  
Janitor: Um.. The fans got mad at Mr. S and went after him.  
  
Cid: What the @#$@#$! How about the [beep] [beep] host!!!  
  
Janitor: Um.. he ran away with a cute girl named Priscilla.  
  
Avalanche: Oy.. O_o  
  
Tifa: Cloud, you know, I am kinda tired, can we two go somewhere and do something?  
  
Cloud: Um... Like what, Tifa? (shudders)  
  
Tifa: Um.. I will tell you what we will do when we are alone in a private, quiet place! (lifts Cloud up and runs)  
  
Cloud: AHHH!!!!! GUYS!!! HELP ME!!!!!! AH!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! (His voice grows faint)  
  
Vincent: ......  
  
Barret & Cid: Umm.... ok...  
  
Red XIII: Shouldn't we go and help him?  
  
Barret: We better not interrupt him. You know Cloud wants her and Tifa wants him.. Cloud is just acting that way to put off the suspicions.. that spiky ass.. hahaha.  
  
Cid: yeah, you know for sure. What they want to do is screw each other all day long and have more than 20 children. Some horny parents they will make! HAHAHAHA!  
  
[Barret and Cid laugh together]  
  
Vincent: You guys are sick...  
  
Yuffie: Wait, Vincent!  
  
Vincent: What do you want?  
  
Yuffie: Where are you going?  
  
Vincent: No where... Want to come with me?  
  
Yuffie: Sure!!!!  
  
  
  
Author's notes: I will upload stuff as soon as possible... 


	2. Chapter 2

Special guests: Kuja, author, TGTH, Dr. Mojo Hojo Hide, Rude, Will Smith  
  
Cloud: Hello, everyone!  
  
Everyone: Hi, Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Hmm.. I see some new faces except Hojo!!! AH!!!! Leave me alone!  
  
Hojo: Be my guinea pig and I will leave you alone. Hahahaha!  
  
Cloud: What?! That's it. I am really pissed! (takes out his Ultima Weapon)  
  
Rest of the group: Cloud, you killed him!!  
  
Cloud: Yeah! So what? He was annoying and didn't do any good to anyone of you!  
  
Kuja: Waahhhh! He promised me that he would make thongs for me! You killed him so he can't do it for me anymore! My thongs!!! I could have gotten them for free! Now I have to go search the trash cans and wear used-ones!  
  
Cloud: Um... I am sorry. I feel really guilty now.  
  
TGTH: Me too. Hojo said he would tell me who I am! He also promised me that he would make me bald! So I can be unique!  
  
Rude: Hey, you insulting me? (grabs TGTH out of the building)  
  
TGTH: AHHH!!!! (Wam! Smack! Doink! Crash!)  
  
Everyone: Ouch, that's gotta hurt!  
  
Author: I don't have anything against you, Cloud. You did a great job!  
  
Cloud: Ah, my deeds are appreciated! Mwa ha ha ha!  
  
Author: Cloud, if you don't stop laughing like that, I will make Scarlet and Heidegger stay with you!  
  
Cloud: No, no! I won't laugh like that!  
  
Author: All right, I forgive you this time.  
  
Cloud: Thank you!  
  
Tifa: Cloud!!! Where are you?  
  
Cloud: Tifa, over here!  
  
Tifa: Oh, there you are. What are you doing with this guy? Who is he?  
  
Cloud: He's a friend of mine...  
  
Tifa: Oh, cool!  
  
Author: Yay, you two are my favorite couple. How long have you guys had crush on each other?  
  
Cloud: Hmmm.. I had it since I was 7, so it's been 14 years...  
  
Tifa: Me too. I liked him a lot from the beginning, but I was shy with him, so... (kisses Cloud)  
  
Cloud: Hehehe (blushes) Tifa, do you want to? (winks)  
  
Tifa: Of course! (they run away to their house)  
  
Author: Ah, couples are great! Why don't I have one??!! Ah.... It's ok. I will live.  
  
Hojonova: Haha! I have come back again! Give me sugar! Lots of sugar!  
  
Author: AHH!!! Don't hurt me! I will call MIB!  
  
Hojonova: Just give me sugar! (author mixes water with sugar) oooo... More, more, more!!! More!!!! Shuga! Shuga!!!  
  
Author: OK, OK!  
  
Hojonova: Ah... That's good. Now gimme that! (drinks it)  
  
Will Smith: Yo, why the hell you messin' with my homie for?  
  
Hojonova: Huh? Go away!  
  
W.S: What? You wanna taste this? (takes out a taser and aims it and the taser pokes Hojonova's balls)  
  
Hojonova: AHHH!!! MY BALLS! They are gone!!! (falls on the ground and dies)  
  
W.S: hahaha! That will teach you a lesson!  
  
Author: Thanks Will. You da man!  
  
W.S: Haha, no problem, bro. Peace!  
  
Author: Haha, I feel like a gangsta!  
  
Every1: Umm... Ok... -_-;  
  
Author: Ah, it's late, I think I will go get some sleep. Good night, everyone!  
  
Everyone: Good night, retard!  
  
Author: What???!! That's it!!! (takes out his eraser)  
  
Everyone: NO, NO! We were just joking! You are the coolest guy!  
  
Author: thought so!  
  
Everyone: Whew! Finally we got rid of that crabby author! Lucy's nothing compared to him!  
  
Vincent: Hey, guys.  
  
Everyone: Hey, Vince. It's really strange to see you so happy. What happened?  
  
Vincent: Yuffie and I are getting married this week!  
  
Everyone: Cool!  
  
Vincent: So, come to Temple of the Ancients tomorrow!  
  
Everyone: Hey, if you want to get married there because it has altars, forget it. It's gone!  
  
Vincent: Ah... Man! I will just talk to Dio, then. Catch y'all Later!  
  
????: Wait a minute!  
  
Vincent: Huh?  
  
????: Do you know who I am?  
  
Vincent: No, who are you?  
  
????: Um.. I don't know.  
  
Vincent: You don't know who you are?! How bizarre O_o  
  
????: Will you help me find my identity?  
  
Vincent: Sure! What do you know about yourself.  
  
????: I know that I live, I live in trash cans, I basically have no life!  
  
Vincent: Ah! I know! You must be.. THE AUTHOR!!  
  
Author: Vincent!!!!! That's IT! YOU are getting it!  
  
Vincent: NO!!! I am too young to die! NO!!!  
  
Author: Um.. you are not young. You are 57 years old!  
  
Vincent: Whatever! *runs away*  
  
Author: VINCENT!!! STOP!!! *runs after him*  
  
Everyone: Vincent had to mention his name... `_`  
  
Aeris: Hey, have you seen Cloud?  
  
Everyone: Huh? Yeah! Up there! (points the clouds)  
  
Aeris: No, you idiots! The person!  
  
Everyone: ...!!! Oooohhhhh! That guy that was thunder-struck!  
  
Aeris: Whatever, where is he?  
  
Everyone: Um... He's screwing Tifa.  
  
Aeris: WHAT??!! Where?  
  
Everyone: In his house.  
  
Aeris: OH, That's IT! CLOUD!!!! TIFA!!!!!! (runs off)  
  
Everyone: Uh oh, there will be some bitching! (follows Aeris) 


	3. Chapter 3

Aeris  
  
Aeris: CLOUD!!! TIFA!!! (bursts into the house. There is no reply) Where could they be? (searches the house)  
  
(Tifa and Cloud are in their bedroom, having sex)  
  
Tifa: Mmmm... Cloud, do I hear something?  
  
Cloud: Um... No, let's continue.  
  
Tifa: Ok, sure! (continues)  
  
(Aeris bursts in)  
  
Aeris: Cloud!!! What are you doing with Tifa?  
  
Tifa: AHH!!!!! GET OUT! I will call the police!  
  
Aeris: Get lost! Cloud is mine!  
  
Tifa: NO! MINE! (They start fighting)  
  
Cloud: *sighs* All right! Settle down. I love Tifa... I am sorry, Aeris. I really love Tifa. I never loved you. It's true.... I just didn't want to make you upset....  
  
Aeris: WHAT??!!!  
  
Tifa: See? Cloud loves me! NOW! Get lost, you bitch! (slaps her)  
  
Aeris: WAHH!!! CLOUD! You are so mean!  
  
Zack: Aeris! What are you doing here?  
  
Aeris: ZACK!!!! (runs up to him and punches his chest) how could you??!!! You left me to make me suffer!  
  
Zack: No, I was killed by Scarlet and her soldiers, but now I am alive, to find you again. Let's go. Cloud, see ya around! (walks off with Aeris)  
  
Tifa: Oh, finally I have you all to myself!!! Yay!!! (lifts Cloud up and spins him around)  
  
Cloud: Tifa, you are making me dizzy!!! (throws up)  
  
Everyone: Ewww, you threw up on us! You are going to get it!  
  
Tifa: AH!!! Let's run together! (dashes off)  
  
Everyone: Ah, forget it. Tifa's too fast.  
  
????: Um... Hi.  
  
Everyone: !!!!! YOU!!!!! You are bothering us again! KILL HIM!!!  
  
????: AH!!!! HELP ME!!! HELP!!!!  
  
Vincent: Hey! They killed that guy with no life. Could he have been the alter ego of the author??  
  
Author: THAT'S IT!!! VINCENT!!! COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vincent: AH!!! Go away!!!!!  
  
Priscilla: Hey, he's a sad case. Leave him alone. Hang out with me and my dolphin.  
  
Author: Hmm... Sure thing!  
  
Hojonova: Hahaha! GIVE ME SHUGA!!!!  
  
Author: -_-;  
  
Hojonova: Don't stand there! GIVE ME SHUGA!! I need SHUGA! Shuga? Shuga? 0.0  
  
Author: You are supposed to be dead! How did you come back alive?  
  
Hojonova: Haha! With the knowledges of Hojo inside me, I was able to change my gender! HAHAHA! I am transsexual!! HAHAHA!  
  
Author: GROSS!!! GO AWAY!!  
  
Hojonova: Trans pride!!!  
  
Everyone: EWWW!!!! SHUT UP!  
  
Hojonova: Hey! I was going to say 'transparent' pride!  
  
Everyone: Riiiiiiiggghhhht!  
  
Author: Hey, I thought Will killed you by poking your balls out. How did you survive?  
  
Hojonova: Hahaha. I got myself a new set of balls!  
  
Everyone: EWWWWWWW!!! From who?  
  
Hojonova: Hahahaha! My son gave them to me!!! Hahahahaha!  
  
Author: You are sick... (turns around and walks away)  
  
Hojonova: Hey! Give me shuga! I need shuga!  
  
Author: No, you need ass-kicking! (kicks Hojonova's @$$)  
  
Hojonova: AH!!!! (crashes and dies)  
  
Author: Hahaha! I am the ultimate author!  
  
Everyone: Riiiiiight!  
  
Author: What? You diss me? (takes out taser this time)  
  
Everyone: AH!!! PLEASE! Have mercy on us!  
  
Author: All right. I have mercy on you. Ack! I have to go...  
  
Everyone: Stupid author.... Who put him in charge anyway?  
  
Cloud: I did!  
  
Everyone: Why?  
  
Cloud: Because!  
  
Everyone: Because? What?  
  
Cloud: Because I felt like it!  
  
Everyone: Who says you can do anything if you feel like it?  
  
Cloud: I do!  
  
Everyone: Hmm.. ok, if you say so. AH!! *jumps on him* DIE!!! YOU MADE US SUFFER BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID AUTHOR!  
  
Cloud: AH!!! TIFA!!! HELP ME!  
  
Tifa: Wait, CLOUD! I will kick everyone's ass!  
  
Everyone: Uh oh! Let's run away! *all trample one another* Ah... Can't... move! 


	4. Chapter 4

Guests: James Bond, Hojo  
  
In the theater..  
  
(Tifa, Cloud, author and others are at the theater, watching "Dr. Hojo and Mr. Mojo")  
  
Dr. Hojo: Mwa ha ha ha ha! This drink will make me into a flawless monkey!  
  
(Drinks the liquid from the bottle)  
  
Mr. Mojo: ... Mwa ha ha ha! Transformation complete! I am now perfect!  
  
Nurse: Dr. Hojo? Are you all right?  
  
Mr. Mojo: Oh yes! I am perfectly fine! You look very good today, nurse. What would you like to do?  
  
Nurse: (backing away) What do you mean?  
  
Mr. Mojo: Come here! (grabs her and tries to rape her)  
  
Nurse: Let me go! Let me.. (muffled sounds)  
  
Mr. Mojo: Mwa ha ha ha ha! I am far too powerful for you!  
  
(Cloud suddenly jumps up on the stage with his Ultima Weapon)  
  
Cloud: Die, you bastard! Why can't you just die!!!!!????  
  
Tifa: Cloud, that's an actor! He's not real!  
  
Cloud: Oops, sorry. (steps down from the stage)  
  
Audience: BOO!!! YOU MESSED UP THE PLAY!  
  
Cloud: Sorry...  
  
Audience: Boo! Get lost! Get outta here!!  
  
Cloud: SHUT UP!! (Does omnislash to everyone)  
  
Audience: Ahh!! (faints)  
  
Cloud: Oops! I killed them! (realizes that he has a plastic sword in his hand) Huh? Oh, good. I didn't kill them. But. I can't believe this... I brought a plastic sword? TIFA??!!  
  
Tifa: Um.. I thought it would be better..  
  
Cloud: But! But! I want my weapon!  
  
Tifa: Now, now, Cloud! That's a no-no. You got used to seeing too much blood. No more violence, Cloud. They are innocent, stupid people. They are not and can't be your enemies!  
  
Cloud: You have a good point there.. Hey, plastic still does some good! I gave them bruises everywhere..  
  
Everyone: -.-  
  
Cloud: Ah, forget this, I am going home. Why don't we act out what we did last night, Tifa? (exits with Tifa)  
  
Tifa: Oh, that sounds a lot of fun. (follows him)  
  
Author: All right, everyone! Out of the theater!  
  
Everyone: Aww, man... All this moving around for nothing but for Cloud and Tifa..  
  
Author: What? You want to suffer for real?  
  
Everyone: Oh, no. We were just joking...  
  
Author: Mwa ha ha ha! That's what I thought! (Exits)  
  
Everyone: Whew... That's one hell of a stupid author.  
  
*James Bond theme plays*  
  
Everyone: Um.. what is your name, please?  
  
Stranger: Bond. James Bond.  
  
Everyone: oookie..  
  
Hojo: Haha! Haha! Ionic bond? Covalent bond? Polar Bond? Mwa ha! Haha! Haha! I am evil Mandark! Haha! Haha!  
  
Everyone: ARRGGGGHHH! YOU PISS US OFF!!! JUST DIE!!!  
  
Hojo: NO!!!!! Ionic, save me!  
  
James Bond: You only live twice, Mr. Hojo!  
  
Hojo: NO!! I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!  
  
Everyone: ^^; yeah, right! Just die! *kills Hojo*  
  
Spectator #1: Wow... how many lives does he have?  
  
Spectator #2: Beats me! It must be that stupid author messing things up again. Whew... those poor guys... suffering for nothing.  
  
Author: Hey, did I hear something?  
  
Spectator #2: Yeah, the birds up there?  
  
Author: You know what I mean.. *approaches with an evil grin*  
  
Spectator #2: AH!!! Don't hurt me! I have a family!  
  
Author: Bullpooey! Just come here and I will take care of you very nicely *catches him and beats him up*  
  
Spectator #2: OW! OW! AH!!! Oh.. *faints*  
  
Author: Hahaha! Who's next?  
  
Everyone: Um... not us! *runs away*  
  
Author: Darn.. These guys are so fast! 


	5. Chapter 5

Just a ruckus  
  
Narrator: It is Shinra building. Tifa and the crew are paid to do acting part because people are making movies about their heroic actions.  
  
Cloud: What? Heroine? Who? Where? What??? (is completely lost)  
  
Tifa: Cloud, over here!! Look at that trail of blood! Ooooooh, pweety color!! (does the happy dance)  
  
Cloud: Um.. that's not funny??  
  
Barret: Yo, Spikey! Hell the shut up! (throws a squeaky mouse at him)  
  
Cloud: AH!! MOUSE!! (screams like a girl)  
  
Director: CUT!!! Barret!! No more of this mouse crap, man!  
  
(Mr. T suddenly appears)  
  
Mr. T: Ta da!!! Yo, Barret's ma homie and he can do whatever he likes!  
  
Director: Um... but, but... we are making a movie here! So get lost, Mr. T!  
  
Mr. T: That's it! A-Team!! (theme music plays)  
  
Everyone: O.o What the hell has FF 7 got to do with A-Team?? -.-  
  
Mr. T: Hey, shut the hell up. A-Team has to be featured too since it's cool. Hahahahahaha!!  
  
Everyone: Ooooookay... (leaves quietly)  
  
Mr. T: Hey! Where ya goin'? Get back here!  
  
(Suddenly, a stage eagle comes flying and hooks him)  
  
Mr. T: Ahhhh!!! Eagle!! Help!! Help!! (screams like a girl)  
  
Everyone: LOL!! Let's get on with this acting.  
  
Director: All right. Ready??! Set! Action!!  
  
Cloud: Huh? (wakes up and looks at the open door) What possibly could have happened?  
  
Dead guard: Nothing happened, I think. Relax, buddy.  
  
Director: Hey, you ass cadet! You are supposed to be dead, man! You don't talk when you are dead unless you are Pumpkin Jack, man! Geez.. (jumps up and down, angry)  
  
Dead guard: Oops... sorry.  
  
Director: Oh... this torture of working with idiots... All right, let's give this another try. Set! ACTION!  
  
Cloud: Huh? What possibly could have happened? (steps out and sees the dead guard) What the? (runs up to him and checks his pulse) Wow, this dude is dead! Awesome!  
  
Director: (muttering) Grrrr... Cloud, that stupid idiot...!!  
  
Cloud: Let me see what he has here... Hmm... keys, wine, two cans of beer... Hey, let's drink some beer first, hehehe. (drinks the beer) Ah.. (falls back and starts falling asleep)  
  
Director: Cloud, you dumb****!!!! Stage Disciplinary Crew!  
  
(The crew rushes on and takes Cloud out)  
  
Cloud: NO!!!! NOT THESE GUYS!!! Please, let me go! I promise! I won't be an ass anymore!  
  
Director: Hmm... How about a 'no'? Take him away and make his ass purple. Hahahahhaha!  
  
Crew: How do we do that??  
  
Director: GAH!!! That's a metaphor!  
  
Crew: HUH??? (completely lost) Medoc? Meter? What the hell did you say?  
  
Director: METAPHOR! It's a figure of speech!  
  
Crew: How do words have figures?  
  
Director: O.o Never mind, just spank him until his ass is purple. That's what I meant. NOW, GO!!!!  
  
Crew: Yes, sir!  
  
Director: Man, I am quitting this... Author! Please, take over!  
  
Author: Fine, fine. And so, the show has proven to be not so quite a success... Ah, whatever. You all better pay me some cash for writing these stories for you! Stay tuned... for Cloud, the joker!!! 


	6. Chapter 6

Cloud the joker. Err. starring... CLOUD!  
  
Cloud: Hey, Tifa!  
  
Tifa: Hmm? What is it, hon?  
  
Cloud: Well... I am going to be the comedian of the day today. I am performing at that stupid theater.  
  
Tifa: Oh, how cool!  
  
Cloud: Errr.. Yeah. It will be fun.  
  
Tifa: Well, I can't go because I have to cook your dinner!  
  
Cloud: Oh, that's fine. Cook a lot of stuff! I will be hungry when I return... Heheh.  
  
Narrator: And so, our hero headed to the theater...  
  
Cloud: Hello, everyone. Say, where do we start? Oh, here's an excellent joke. What's brown and sticky? Yes, sir?  
  
Spectator 1: Poop?  
  
Cloud: No, sir, poop is not sticky. Nice try. Yes, you?  
  
Spectator 2: brownie?  
  
Cloud: Hmm.. Not quite, keep trying!  
  
Spectators: We give up!  
  
Cloud: All right. The answer is.. *cracks up* hahah!!  
  
Spectators: Tell us already!!!  
  
Cloud: All right, fine fine. The answer is... A STICK! LOL!!! LMAO!!! ROFL!!!  
  
Spectators: O_o;;; Um... yeah... right! Let's beat him up!  
  
Cloud: NO!!!!! *Runs away* Tifa! Help me!!  
  
Author: Hey, stop it, everyone. This is stupid. You are fighting over this stupid joke show? My goodness... -_-  
  
Spectators: Hey! We aren't stupid?  
  
Author: What the... I NEVER said you were stupid, STUPID! Grrrr... I will just erase you all out of my writing.  
  
Cloud & Co: NOOO!! PLEASE! *bows down and begs* Have mercy!  
  
Author: Mwa ha ha. That's what I thought. Want me to tell you a joke?  
  
Cloud & Co: SURE!  
  
Author: All right. How do you put South Pole into a refrigerator?  
  
Cloud & Co: Um.. Don't know... how??  
  
Author: First, you open the fridge door, then, you put South Pole in it, then you close the fridge door, idiots! LOL!!! *cracks up*  
  
Cloud & Co: Um... *whisper, whisper* let's tackle him all at once so he can't do anything. All right, ready? 1, 2, 3!!! *all tackle the author*  
  
Author: NOOOOO!! LET ME GO!!!!!  
  
Cloud & Co: hahahaha! We are powerful!  
  
Author: You author molesters! Put me down! Or you are all fired!  
  
Cloud & Co: Ewwww, we are not molesters! *puts him down*  
  
Author: Ah... feels good to be free again. Now, you are all fired!  
  
Cloud & Co: NOO!!!! YOU HURT OUR FEELINGS! WAAAA!! WE ARE GONNA TELL ON OUR MOMMIES!!! MOMMA!!!  
  
Author: Oy... O_o You weakling! Stop that yappin' and just go away! No more of this stupid show! I call it quits! QUITS I SAID!  
  
Author's note: Hehe, that was kinda stupid, wasn't it? I'd appreciate it if you reviewed it for me. Thanks a lot. 


	7. Chapter 7 Finale

Final Chapter  
  
Featuring... (drum roll) MOI!  
  
Cloud: Hey, little kid. What's that you are eating? (is talking to a baby in a stroller) *Baby looks at him and eats his candy*  
  
Cloud: Darn it! I asked what you are eating! *Snatches the candy from the baby's hand*  
  
Baby: Wahhhh!!  
  
The Mother: Hey, you stupid ass popper!  
  
Cloud: 0_o *turns around and flees with the candy* It's my candy!  
  
Mother: Come back here, you big jerk! *hops up and down*  
  
Author: Excuse me, ma'am. Why are you hopping up and down like that?  
  
Mother: Because I am angry!  
  
Author: Why are you angry?  
  
Mother: Because I am!  
  
Author: Why? *SMACK*  
  
Author: OUCH! That hurt!  
  
Mother: That's what you get for not paying attention, punk! I said I was angry because I was!  
  
Author: -_- *The mother goes away with the baby*  
  
Author: Strange biznatch... *keeps walking until he sees some bizarre sight* What the??!! Ah!!! It's a child molester! A toe humper! Someone arrest that sick bastard! He's an old toe licker!  
  
Mr. Toe Licker: Gehehehehe... I am the legendary toe humper! But! I can be flexible! I can hump chairs too!  
  
Author: Erm. Why are you staring at me like that! NOOO! NOT MY TOE!  
  
Mr. Toe Licker: Too late! *Achoo* Darn! I must've caught cold when I was licking my own toes outside in the snow last night!  
  
Author: Bless.. EWWW (Get it? Bless you, and bless ewww, hahaha, sorry, I am really notorious at school for being corny)  
  
Cloud: Damn it, you again! *smacks Mr. Toe Licker in the back with a wooden sword*  
  
Author: O_o;;; Since when the heck have you been resorting to wooden swords! You are not obsessed with Demon Palace Babylon, are you..?  
  
Cloud: Mwa ha ha ha!! I AM! I AM THE NENPO MASTER! (Nenpo is a skill in that manga) I can knock down any strong spirit flat on its ass!! LOL!  
  
Author: Oh yeah, let me see if you can defeat this! *doink* (author hit Cloud's head with a fist)  
  
Cloud: Arrrr.. That was very powerful!  
  
Author: Not really.. Hey, what's that??  
  
Cloud: Huh? What is what?  
  
Author: Um. um.. Look down!  
  
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHH! YOU TOE HUMPER!! When did you take my socks off!!  
  
Mr. Toe Licker: MWA HA HA HA HA!! I have special skills that allows me to take off socks and shoes!!  
  
Cloud and Author: Psh, yeah right! We've got special skills that allow us to beat the crap outta people like you!  
  
Mr. Toe licker: NOOOO!  
  
*BAM WHAM POW WHACK SMACK BONK DOINK CLACK* (Mr. Toe Licker is left on the ground bleeding.)  
  
Cloud and Author: Mwa ha ha ha ha! We are the mighty warriors! (Moments of awkward silence)  
  
Author: Hey, Cloud.  
  
Cloud: Yeah?  
  
Author: Have you noticed that the entire fic has been pointless..?  
  
Cloud: Erm.. Sorta. Who did it?  
  
Author: Of course I did, you idiot!  
  
Cloud: .......... AND YOU MADE ME SUFFER ALL ALONG! AND FOR WHAT????!!!!! NOTHING BUT ABUSE!!! ABUSE!!! WAHH!!! MOMMY!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S MORE? I DIDN'T GET PAID! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DIE DIE DIE!! (beats down the author) Author: AHHHHHHHHH! HELP ME!! HE'S REALLY MAD THIS TIME!!! (Curtain goes down) (Author comes out again)  
  
Author: All right, where are the applauses??!!  
  
Audience: BOOOO!!!  
  
Author: Hey, hey! It was free of charge! I gave you beers too!!! What the~~?? HEY! That hurt! ACK, TOMATOES! AHH!! MY BEAUTIFUL CLOTHING! CANS! WATERMELONS! WIGS! *runs*  
  
-THE END-  
  
Author's note: Wow, that was kinda really pointless wasn't it? ;) Well, from the beginning, I planned it to be made pointless, heheh. I will finish with other fics as well. I've been obsessed with Violinst of Hamelin recently and it's been such fun, so I am deciding to write fics about VoH and continue on with other Cloti stories as well. Thanks for being patient. Au revoir! 


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